Winter was a very important member of our family. He was a rescue bunny that had been dumped on the side of a major highway. We brought him into our home to be a bonded partner for our girl bunny Onyx. The pair lived alongside her bonded parents Avery and Grilly and they became known as the “fab four”. We were so happy to see Winter thrive, develop trust and unconditional love after surviving such a rough start in life. One day, almost three years later, our precious little boy suddenly began to act not quite right and within 20 minutes started wobbling, dragging his rear paw, developed a bulging eye with nystagmus (rhythmic eye movement) and a head tilt. I thought he was having a stroke and was devastated. In that moment, I felt so helpless and alone. Between sobbing and yelling “Oh no, no, no Winter, I love you so much, please don’t leave me” I managed to call the vet. We raced to the vet’s office and ended up leaving him there overnight for treatment and testing. The doctor had a suspicion his symptoms were from E. cuniculi infection. I had no idea what that was so when I got home I googled everything I could possibly find on the topic. I read what it was, what the symptoms were, how it was spread, and about the treatment (or lack thereof). I tried to wrap my head around it, but until you experience it first hand, they are just words on a page.
Winter & The Vet
The following day the vet allowed Winter to come home. I had hoped, I had prayed that there would be a big change after spending the night at the vet and was heartbroken when I saw him. My beautiful, vibrant, thriving and happy bunny was no longer to be found. His x-rays showed that Winter had no ear infection, no abnormality of the brain. They did however show the beginning stage of kidney disease, another byproduct of this parasitic illness. That along with the vestibular (neurologic) symptoms Winter was showing, the doctor deduced his symptoms were from E. cuniculi and not ear infection and prescribed a very rigid course of treatment. We left with a bag of meds in hand, some for his bonded mates as they needed to be treated too (it is a contagious infection spread through spores in the urine). I knew Winter would have to be isolated for a time and set up a playpen in the kitchen nearby his mates and everything he needed for treatment. With the tilty head, Winter could only walk in circles and not for long as vertigo made him very sick. I tried to keep positive though and talked to him continually. No matter what was ahead in his care, my little guy would be worth every sleepless, anxious, upsetting moment of recovery and we would celebrate any tiny milestone he’d make. I fed him by hand, lovingly gave him chamomile tea and water with a syringe and changed his bedding daily, sometimes twice a day. When he napped I napped. Or wrote. I started writing my feelings down.
Everything I read about tilty head was very clinical, but nobody tells you to be prepared for the emotional, physical and mental toll this will take on you, your bun and your family. This is a gut-wrenching, heartbreaking and horrifying illness to experience. After all, this bunny you have loved and nurtured, whether it was from birth or by giving him or her a second chance at life, is now a shadow of itself and you are going through the motions of care not knowing the outcome. I found a support group on facebook (Help For Head Tilt Hoppers) which I am beyond grateful for. This community knew. They knew the stages, the meds, the feels. Day 6 was the day Winter began to roll. It is described as alligator rolling because once it starts it is hard to stop. Watching this is terrifying. I needed my community then and they were very supportive.
I sat thinking about my emotions in the quiet of night and as I wrote them down I noticed something. Grief. I was experiencing all the stages of grief. Yes Winter was still alive, but he was not the little boy I had had a week before. In the midst of caring for him, I was also experiencing grief which made the situation even harder to deal with. It started with shock and continued with panic, helplessness, sadness, nervousness, anger, hope, expectation, depression, frustration, loneliness, bargaining, fear and the worse was yet to come… hopelessness, resignation, guilt, sorrow and finally regret.
On day 8 Winter became critical. He was not eating or going to the bathroom, had stomach gas and I knew GI Stasis was setting in. This can be a death sentence for a rabbit if not treated. I begged, I pleaded with the universe for help and healing. The vet was gone and wouldn’t be in until the morning. My support came through via video chat and helped me with the feeding of his critical care. I spent the whole night taking care of him. At 8:30 am I dropped him off at the vet. Of course I was a nervous wreck and although trying to be positive, in retrospect I knew what was coming. After more testing, the vet said he had deteriorated more than expected, his kidneys and bladder had multiple fully formed stones, showing that his disease had worsened. He was in pain, barely moving and in that moment we made the toughest decision a pet parent can ever make. We said our goodbyes as the vet helped him cross the rainbow bridge. Even as I write this, the tears are flowing uncontrollably down my cheeks. It’s now been 38 days and every one of them I think of my little boy and ask “Why? Why did we have to go through this?”
The pain and regret of constantly thinking “did I do the right thing?”, “should I have held out longer?” plague me daily. When I realized I was experiencing such a hard time as an adult, I couldn’t imagine what it would be like for a child to have to deal with this. A child whose rabbit was maybe his first pet, maybe her best friend and to one who never experienced loss. How would they deal with their emotions? How would they express them? That’s when I decided to write this so you as families can make sense of all the emotions that accompany this illness. Maybe this was the plan of the universe all along.
How did Winter develop head tilt along with all the other symptoms? We’ll never know for sure. A high percentage of domestic rabbits carry the e cuniculi parasite within them and live their whole lives without exhibiting any symptoms at all. Could it have been an inner ear infection? Without a CAT scan an infection within a rabbits ear cannot be fully ruled out. The best course of treatment is for both scenarios. Most importantly, being proactive in preventative care is best as I touched on in my article 10 Necessities For your Bun. If your bun develops head tilt, dragging or paralyzed legs, nystagmus or any other symptom get to an exotic vet immediately and please join the fb group for support or go to Rabbit Care Virtual Support via Instagram.
